FurJust as you are… is all there ever needs to be.

Do you believe this is true?

Or are you the type who needs to be constantly doing something in an effort to be “better, liked, or loved”?

While self-exploration and growth are something we should all strive for, it’s important to be balanced. Your efforts need to be for the right reasons and your energy directed to something worthwhile, not a scam or fad of the day.

Striving to improve who you are should always be done for one person, and one person only…

YOU.

We often use others to help motivate us to improve who we are. While it is awesome to have others who inspire you to be a better person, it is important to know in your mind and in your heart that YOU ARE ENOUGH.

As you are, you are imperfectly perfect!

Never Doubt The Miracle Of You

In my article “Pale Blue Dot- Snapshot Of Our Miracle”, I talk about our planet and the amazing beings on it, and how lucky we are to be here in the first place.

As far as we can tell, we are quite unique and there is no other place like our home. In other words, of all the planets out there, we have not found a world anything like ours.

Understand the enormity of this!

There is nobody in this world like younobody. You are a walking, talking,  bonafide miracle!

Most importantly, now it is time to align yourself with this truth and treat yourself like it!

Tiny Buddha said it perfectly… “If there was a handbook issued at birth, it would go something like this:

  1. You are a miracle. The science alone is mindblowing.
  2. You are unique. No one will ever be as good at being you as you are. SERIOUSLY.
  3. You are enough. Always.
  4. There is always more to learn, but that is not a failure, it is a gift!
  5. Every obstacle is an opportunity to fall further into the miracle that is you.
  6. Commit to being the very best version of you every day. Recalibrate the definition of “best” as needed.
  7. Leave room for others when they fall off the wagon of their own miracle.
  8. Forgive. Others and yourself.
  9. Compassion is the key to forgiveness.
  10. The more you forgive, the more you’ll enjoy being you, because the load is lighter.
  11. In the end, as in the beginning: You are amazing!”

How To Believe That You Are Enough

At a point in your early years, you somehow acquired the belief (a cognitive distortion), whether you realized it or not, that you are not good enough. Often times this belief is born from a dysfunctional family dynamic or is a  product of divorce and other failed relationships.

That is not to say that you had bad parents… or that you should carry blame, anger, rage or resentment towards your family. However, it is important to be accountable and realize that you can change yourself as an adult and be who you want to be and not continue to be defined by your family or others.

In all honesty, building your self-esteem is not going to be easy. You have likely spent most of your life with a critical, unkind voice in your head that makes your life miserable. Ridding yourself of that voice is going to take patience and practice but you are well worth the effort!

Here are a few ways to assist your endeavors to improve your self-esteem courtesy of ideas.ted.com

  • Discover several things you are good at and cultivate them.- This is essential for your confidence. Are you a good cook? Or are you a fast learner? Practice the things you are good at and celebrate the small accomplishments along the way.
  • Eliminate self-criticism and introduce self-compassion.- You know the voice in your head that chimes in at the inopportune moments to remind you that you are an idiot, worthless, unlovable? That voice needs to go. Practice self-compassion in place of the critical ego. Each time that voice speaks up, ask yourself what advice you would give to a dear friend… and take that advice yourself. You are the dear friend, it is time you align yourself with this truth!
  • Remind yourself of your worth.- Try this exercise: “Make a list of qualities you have that are meaningful in the specific context. For example, if you were rejected by your date, list the qualities that make you a good relationship prospect. If you failed to receive a work promotion, list qualities that make you a valuable employee. Then choose one item on your list and write a brief journal entry about why your qualities will be appreciated in the near future.
  • Learn to take compliments.- Compliments make you squeamish? Memorize simple responses and train yourself to use them automatically, in time the impulse to deny or rebuff compliments will fade away.

 

When Life Gets Ugly

It is easy to be positive when everything in your life is going well and is not so easy at all when life decides to permanently alter your world with something tragic.

Unfortunately, life gets ugly.

You get up each day with a positive foot forward, put on your big girl/guy pants on and conquer each day. Finishing each with a couple of hours in the gym and a meditation walk to clear your mind.

Without realizing it, you are training.

For example, you are training for that phone call that you lost a parent, or your spouse is diagnosed with cancer.

Having good habits to fall back on is going to make all the difference in the world. Habits such as:

  • Adhering to a schedule.
  • A commitment to staying fit and active, and taking time to exercise, including evening strolls.
  • Treating your body like a temple and putting good things into it.
  • Committing to stay mentally fit.

By implementing these good habits and routines, we are creating muscle memory so when that dreaded life event comes along and knocks you down, it won’t keep you down.

In other words, your survival instincts will kick in and all those routines and habits will be second nature and will carry you through the darkest of days.

Therefore, you train for health, you train for life.

As you can see, they go hand in hand.

Keeping It Real About Self-Esteem

Whatever your age, promise yourself right now, this moment, that you will start making yourself a priority. Most importantly, that you will put in the hard work, you will taste the salty tears, and then you will LET IT GO.

Moreover, build your self-esteem and balance it out with a heavy dose of humility. Avoid being arrogant and practice being humble.

Don’t allow poor self-esteem to destroy your quality of life. Recognize self-limiting beliefs and work hard to correct them and other cognitive distortions mentioned previously.

Take the time for you and fall in love with yourself… all else will follow.

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